Ghana Pundit: The New Divine Church (NDC)

Article by Kwesi Biney
ON THE first of January, I resolved that this year I will not talk nor write anything about Ghana considering the pains and anguish I went through last year.

Times were hard and so rough. Situations were tough and unpredictable, uncertainty crowded all my plans and I lost hope in the country I have so much loved and will continue to love, at least for the next couple of years in the hope that things will change.

The much dreaded Christmas came to pass with very little fun fair. I was just lucky that before Dr. Duffuor presented his 20% increase in Akpeteshie budget I had two gallons of the stuff already in my custody, freely displayed, I would have been completely disgraced. In fact, the mahogany bitters in the large Sir Edward’s Scotch Whiskey Bottle were my saviour.

As for the chickens and the goats, I had to use health problems as an excuse for not inviting them in whole or in pieces into my house.

Why not, after all when you cross the 50 year line is it not safer to eat dried fish to avoid problems with cholesterol? I was able to convince the 50 year olds who visited me to accept what I had to offer.

At a point in time I decided to switch off my Re-diffusion radio box and the black and white TV so that I would live in my own world of hear nothing, see nothing and say nothing.

But there is this old pensioner friend of mine who keeps on calling me to discuss issues he has read in the print media or heard from the electronic media.

I was sitting my somewhere when this man called to draw my attention to a statement General Mosquito of National Democratic Congress (NDC) fame had made regarding his founder.

I reluctantly went for the paper and read the story, and I said ho la la, this is going to be a Better NDC for a Better Ghana.

Hei, akom ko, aka ntware ho. Who born Mosquito to tell his Lordship the Jerryship, the alpha and omega of PNDC\NDC, the creator of May 15 and June 4, that the NDC is not a one man church?

The National Democratic Congress perhaps would be re-christened the NEW DIVINE CHURCH (NDC) with Dr. Dr. Archdeacon, Pastor Reverend J.J. Rawlings (rtd) as the head of the church.

Obviously Mrs. Nana Konadu Agyeman Rawlings would be the Osofo maame. Kofi Adams would then be the chief usher.

For General Mosquito to inflict such a venomous bite on the Field Marshall the Founder, is an indication that Mosquito has been either thirsty for so long or had enough blood to spill out and that the best target is the founder.

You see, just as General Mosquito was saying, can you imagine Dr. Dr. Archdeacon Pastor Reverend Jerry John Rawlings taking to the pulpit and preaching the word of God? I bet you, if you happen to be a member of the New Divine Church (NDC) and you are attending the church, please do not behave like the Fanti and go and sit there with a cup of Milo and two slices of bread.

Behave like the typical Asanti, fill your tummy with fufu and ebunebunu because the preacher in the person of His Jerryship will preach from Genesis to Revelation and even add his own version of the Bible to it. Trust him.

You see, what is happening in the NDC is nothing but the chicks come home to roost. Ei, today some people see His Jerryship as behaving like a one-man church whose assets are owned by an individual, the inheritance of that church resting in the hands of the children of the Founder and owner of the church?

Times have changed indeed, but not for the better. Is it not people like General Mosquito who immortalized Flt. Lt. J.J. Rawlings, raised him from obscurity into invincibility for their own good?

Yes, intellectuals, well placed Ghanaians who before the advent of His Jerryship on the political scene, were contributing effectively to the socio-economic and political life of this country jumped to the feet of an angry military officer who was very livid about his living circumstances and risked his life to move away from those unpleasant circumstances.

They glorified, hailed, gave pompous importance and radiant beauty to this man who has had, and I repeat, an undeserved opportunity to rule this country for 19 years.

One of the beneficiaries of the 19-year rule of His Jerryship is General Mosquito. Where did he come from? General Mosquito obviously is a product of the takashie and bugabuga regime of His Jerryship for the 19 years.

General Mosquito and people like him never saw anything bad about His Jerryship even when His Jerryship was treating the whole of Ghana and true Ghanaians like me, like the property of a one-man church owner.

Today General Mosquito is worried about a political party, not the whole of Ghana, being considered the property of its Founder.

Those who help breed monsters in their backyard with the intent to annihilate their opponents stand to suffer the wrath of the monsters when they have dealt sufficiently with the original targets and are still thirsty for blood. Once again, the beautiful ones are not yet born, the ugly ones refuse to die, so weep not child.

The New Divine Church (NDC) of the Founder has come to stay as long as you recognize him as the Founder.

Those who cannot co-habitat with him have the right to form their own churches as well.

Ei, Egya Atta, what are you offering us this new year too? Last year as soon as you were sworn in as the President of the Republic of GHANA, a spate of motor accidents, unprecedented in the history of this country, was recorded.

Within the first quarter of your reign as the President of this country, about 300 precious souls were lost to us as a nation through motor accidents.

This year too, reports indicate that within the first week of the year 21 lives have been lost through motor accidents. In a week oo, what are we in for in the coming weeks?

As for me, I am not superstitious, but some people are. The usual they say they say, or yese, yese or ake ake goes that something beyond the orthodox campaigning and the lies and the misinformation were part of your victory.

Oh you haven’t heard that? Oh sorry sorry, they are saying it all over the place ooo.

You see, Egya Atta, they even say those deaths last year were to pacify whichever deities your party people consulted for your victory.

They are now saying that the pacification has been staggered for the four-year period that you will be in office and that every first quarter of the year is the payment period.

So many people are scared of what has happened in the first week of the year. Is there anything you can do about it? What about asking uncle T.B to intervene spiritually on our behalf with supporting prayers from the head of the New Divine Church?

I can hear chanting and tongues like Egya Atta, ye wild, Egya Atta, ye wild, Kweku Abonsam (not the one in Kumasi, ooo, I don’t want any palaver) wants to destroy your children.

He wants your government to be very unpopular, oh, Egya Atta, rise up to the occasion and stamp on the devil. Redeem this nation from the evil machinations of your opponents, hei, hi bababababa, kai, olofolofolofo gadagadaga, Jesus.

Then the supporting prayers of the Founder of the New Divine Church (NDC) will come like this; ‘Gaaad will nat sit down unconcerrrned, while irresponsible and reckless drivers take awaay the souls of the innocent citizens of this country with impunity. In the name of Jesuss, the government should wake up and stem this unholy act before it gets out of hand’.

Then the congregation, led by Osofo Maame Nana Konadu Agyeman Rawlings, ably supported by the rejuvenated 31st December Old Ladies Movement will shout in unison ‘AMEEN ooooooooooo’.

The Chief Priest, His Jerryship, will continue, ‘Third John chapter 25 versus 1-52 (meaning the third JOHN to be PRESIDENT, in his 25th month in office, first week in the year to the 52nd week of the year) says, wake up my brother and deal with all the greedy bastards in your government.

Reshuffle your team B prayers with the team A prayers sitting on the bench, because the task ahead is difficult and the road very tortuous. Halleluya, (Response from Osofo Maame and the 31st December Old Ladies Movement) AMEEEN oooooo Preach on Man of God, His Jerryship.

Try it Egya Atta, it may work to save lives, else another Justice Douse Commission of Enquiry into the loss of lives through motor accidents will be very necessary.

The Commission may not have to sit at the old Parliament House.

They may sit in my village on the Cape Three Points Road in the Ahanta West District. I can assure them of free fonfom and kako stew. Akpetshie will be cheaper because it will be 20% tax exempt. Happy New Year and better governance for a better Ghana.

Kwesibiney2009gh@yahoo.com